Retardo?

So, recently, The Boyfriend and I traveled to Washington DC for the weekend. We took the Bolt Bus, which is pretty cool! It's all WiFi and plugging-things-in and whatnot. Very 2.0.

On the way there, the BF watched a documentary we'd rented from Netflix. It was about a Hippy Farmer who, I dunno, did some farming and did a bit of cross-dressing somewhere in, god - who can remember? - Iowa. While this enthralling docu was being watched, I took a nap and had some weird dreams about - shit, who cares? - pirates or giant bugs or whatever it is I dream about on buses.

Anyhoo... when we got back from our Weekend (I might add that we both had allergic reactions to Our Nation's Capital - something to do with "stink berries" if I'm to believe our gracious hosts), I grabbed the Netflix DVD, shoved it in the envelope thingy, and mailed it back.

Then I found the DVD.

Turns out, I had accidentally sent a completely different disc back in the envelope. For the detail-oriented, it was a CD by a band called "Avail" and it belonged to The Boyfriend. (Though not pleased, he was not overly miffed. He's nice.)

As I'm wont to do, I delayed actually doing anything about this hiccup. My plan was to put the correct Netflix CD in a regular envelope and send it back to them with my apologies for being so unobservant and space-sproket-y and whatnot; but of course I never got round to it.

Listen, I'm busy! I got shit to do and not enough time, etc.

[As John Fowles might say at this point: Are you enjoying this? I hope so!]

A couple of days ago, I received an envelope from Netflix. Not the standard Red thingy, but a plain, white contraption, addressed to me; ominous. I opened it to find the Avail CD in the regular Netflix envelope for the movie we'd rented - it was called "The Real Dirt on Farmer John" in case anyone cares... Thing was, the CD was all smashed up into bits.

Was this intentional?

Think about it.

How often do Netflix DVDs get smashed into bits in transit?

If it happened often, poor Netflix would be out of business.

So, I asked myself (and The Boyfriend - because, while talking to oneself may be the only way to ensure intelligent conversation, it's also the first sign of madness. Go figure.), did Netflix do this intentionally?

The only way to know is to call their customer service dept and find out (stay tuned for tomorrow's blog: "In Which We Call Netflix Customer Service To Find Out What Is Up With That"); but I hope it's not some retaliatory measure! Am I "projecting" or was that kinda passive-aggresive? The CD I accidentally mailed to them is worth more than the DVD I was supposed to send. Meanwhile, we have Roku'd the CRAP out of things, but have not received any more DVDs.

Man, I hope it was just a coincidental accident!

[glances at nearby shelf]

Oh - I see several unreturned NetFlix on that nearby shelf...

Sorry, Netflix!

I love Ruku, by the way. Neat!