The 10 Things You Do That Are Really Annoying

10. Stop pouring the top inch and a half of your steaming hot coffee into the trash bin for some poor wage slave to clean up later, when the entire contents have congealed into a big sopping mess. If you need extra room in your cup, just ASK FOR EXTRA ROOM when you order your coffee. Jerk.

9. When waiting at a bank of elevators, don't assume that if the one nearest to you opens up, you should get in it. Look around and see if there are some other people who might have been waiting longer than you to get into a car. Try letting them get where they're going first. You'll get your turn.

8. At the office, put your fucking cellphone on vibrate or - better yet - put it on quiet and place it somewhere where you can see if someone is calling you. Not everyone wants to hear your shitty ringtone 5 times an hour.

7. If you're begging for change, don't spin some yarn about why you need me to give you 75 cents. Just ask me for the money. I might have it. I might not. But it will save us both valuable time if you refrain from telling me a story about how you need to get up to 96th street, or that your non-existant car was broken into by your crazy ex-wife. Extra points for NOT showing me the scar you got from a completely unrelated operation you had many years ago that has nothing to do with anything.

6. If you're on holiday here in our fair city, and you're taking a stroll down a busy avenue, get the FUCK OUT OF MY WAY SO I CAN GET TO WORK. When's the last time I stood in front of your SUV back in Iowa when you were trying to get to Wallmart? Exactly.

5. Hey Hipsters: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD BEFORE YOU GET RUN OVER. (p.s. you look ridiculous.)

4. If you live in my neighborhood and you've just eaten some chicken, try NOT throwing the chicken bones in the street so that my dog can choke on them later.

3. Think you might enjoy having a beer with someone you know very little about? Then you should DEFINITELY vote for them.

2. Making a "Top Ten" list? Try just listing the things you want to list, regardless of how many there are, so that you don't end up with a rogue filler item for the second-to-last one.

and, finally...

1. Stop giving out unsolicited advice. No one cares what you think.