Biden Your Time

Joe Biden has a tough job ahead of him in tonight's debate. While it may seem like an easy proposition to debate someone who doesn't believe in dinosaurs, it's actually a lot more difficult than debating a smart, or even mentally competent, person. Think of it as trying to wrestle with a frail old man: go too easy, and the old guy will win; go too hard and you'll be accused of beating up a defenseless old man! Debating Palin is not going to be easy. Putting aside the definite possibility that Biden will fuck this up all by himself, he's going to have to be extremely careful with Palin. He must avoid, at all costs, any of the following:

Looking smug or pleased when Palin says something dumb
Biden must not revel in her idiocy; but at the same time, he must not let her get away with too much.

Being too fact-y or using logic to make an argument
Amercians hate people who know more than they do. Biden must try to steer clear of too many salient points, or reasoned explanations for why things are so fucked up with our country right now.

Accidentally looking at Palin's body
I'm not trying to be prurient here, or suggest that because Palin is considered attractive, Biden is going to be checking her out! I'm just putting forward the possibility that Biden's eyes might rest on his opponent at some point in a way that, if you're looking for a juicy news clip, could be misconstrued. Imagine the constant replay of Biden appearing to leer at Palin and then picture all those swing voters with that image planted in their heads as they mark their ballots. It could happen! Republicans will use anything they can get their hands on - remember the Swift Boat Veterans? Remember when Howard Dean raised his voice slightly that one time? Uh huh.

Getting annoyed
It wasn't a winning strategy for McCain to appear visibly annoyed by Obama during last week's debate. It made him seem like a more grouchy version of Andy Rooney (if such a thing is possible). Not looking Obama in the eye was, frankly, rude. At the very least it was weird. McCain was so twitchy he looked like he'd OD'd on geritol right before kickoff, but I'm getting off topic. If Biden shows too much annoyance at Palin, he will be sunk. If he acts like it's a foregone conclusion that he's going to "win" the debate, he will be sunk. Winning this debate is not about who knows more, whose arguments are put forth with greater reason, or even who's better qualified generally to be veep. This debate won't be "won" at all in the traditional sense. It will merely be "not lost" by the person who fucks up the least. And they are both going to fuck up in their own special ways. All Palin has to do is bate Biden to the point where he says something inapropriate. No one expects anything of Palin. And if she manages to get out a few reasonable arguments during the night, she'll be exceeding expectations so thoroughly that Biden will look like an idiot by comparison.

This is gonna be hard.