Mavericky

Seen the movie Dumb & Dumber? Good, then you know what my hair looks like right now - specifically, my bangs.

Needing a trim and wanting to save money, I popped into a Supercuts. How hard can it be to take an inch off? I mean, it's basically following an existing, reasonably straight line, right?

Wrong.

I look like the "stylist" stuck a bowl - a really tiny bowl - on my head and chopped around it with all the skill and focus of someone who regularly watches Two and a Half Men. I look like that kid you knew in middle school who got busted for grafitti-ing his own name on the side of a building.* I look like I regularly eat funyans and like to sniff my own armpits. I look like the kind of person who believes Sarah Palin is mavericky.

I look like a fucking retard.

It seems to be getting worse by the day. If you see me in the next month and I'm wearing a jaunty hat or rocking that same old headscarf look, then you'll know why. And if you're in need of a laugh in these difficult times, ask if you can take a look at my bangs. Just know that when you're done laughing, you're bloody well buying me a drink!

*Note: this actually happened at my middle school. But I am too classy to name names. Declan.